The modern-day definition of being a gentleman is to be a man of noble or gentle birth. That is, to be respectful, kind, inclusive, have a firm handshake, and be confident in your own actions.
Striving for this can be a lengthy pursuit, so we certainly admire men who achieve this status, but exactly how does one ‘become’ a gentleman? It can often be difficult to emulate and understand, so we’ve curated a list of gentleman quotes that every man should read to help them on their journey.
The list consists of our favourite gentleman quotes that various distinguished men have penned themselves, from 18th-century scholars to modern-day public figures. If you choose to follow their wisdom, you’ll be one step closer to becoming a gentleman.
"A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality."
Winston Churchill, the esteemed former British Prime Minister during the Second World War, penned these words as a reflection of his leadership style and philosophy. The quote implies a sense of duty and moral responsibilities, traits a gentleman will take on in his career and personal life.
“The word of a gentleman is as good as his bond; and sometimes better.”
English novelist and social critic Charles Dickens certainly knew his stuff, reflecting on the weight behind a man’s duty. It emphasises the importance of keeping one’s word and the notion that a person’s honour should be of complete importance. A priority of his own that propelled him to become one of the most esteemed writers in history.
“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.”
Out of the entire list of gentleman quotes, if there is one you should take on as your moral compass, let it be this. George Bernard Shaw, an influential Irish playwright, critic, and polemicist was extremely driven when it came to his career focusing not on personal gain, but on societal contribution. To be a gentleman you need to strive for a legacy that benefits the world, not just yourself.
“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.”
A gentleman is calm and content, handling all matters in the absence of rage. Originally quoted by George Savile, the quote underscores that true mastery in life originates from the disciplined art of patience, a trait that shapes character and helps to navigate complex journeys. A patient man is a dangerous man.
“A gentleman doesn’t have one set of manners for the house of a poor man and another for the house of someone with an income incomparable to his own.”
A gentleman simply doesn’t pick and choose who receives his noble manners. This principle was extracted from William Maxwell’s 1979 novel ‘So Long, See You Tomorrow’, which highlights the true gentility of equality and fair trial. Genuine courtesy extends beyond social and economic differences, meaning lower social status or poorer individuals are not to be treated any differently than you are.
“A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.”
Unintentional rudeness is the perfect example of a lack of interest and engagement in your surroundings. Ensure you develop a natural state of being polite and empathetic, but confident. This quote is from a gentleman himself, Oscar Wilde, a legendary Irish writer during the 18th century.
“This is the first test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him.”
Authentic respect extends well beyond personal gain. Once you can understand and emulate this, you’re a step closer to becoming a gentleman. Penned by William Lyon Phelps, an American author and scholar, this quote was featured in Steven D. Price’s 1001 Smarted Things Ever Said. It’s a timeless reminder that the true measure of a gentleman lies in how he treats those who offer no tangible benefit, highlighting the value of respect in human interactions
“Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought."
A harmonious balance between proactive decision-making and the reflective depth of contemplation is crucial for decision making as a gentleman. Henri Bergson, a French Philosopher promotes the deliberate approach to navigating the difficulties of life, urging men to take decisive action with mindful consideration. These leads to rational and efficient outcomes.
“Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.”
This gentleman quote from Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States reinforced a primary manner of becoming a gentleman – respect. Respect paired with bravery allows for a broader definition of strength, encompassing both physical and gracious attributes – essential for the modern day man.
"Man is never so manly as when he feels deeply, acts boldly and expresses himself with frankness and with fervor"
Benjamin Disraeli goes beyond traditional masculine traits of manhood and emphasises the importance of deeply expressing feelings and emotions freely. Strength and power alone will not propel you to great heights.
"Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company, and reflection must finish him.”
John Locke perfectly reminds us that education alone isn’t enough to make you a gentleman. Most importantly, the persona you develop is a reflection of what you read and the company you keep.
"Be humble. Be hungry. And be the hardest worker in the room."
A gentleman isn’t arrogant and invasive. He strives for simplicity, and humility and has a hunger to improve his knowledge base. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson keeps us down to earth with this reminder.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.”
Renowned for his wisdom, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States suggested that the sources of a person’s rage unveil their true values, priorities and principles. Again, this is a quote to ensure we remain patient and think like a man of action and act like a man of thought – like the quote we mentioned earlier.
“A gentleman would be ashamed should his deeds not match his words”
This quote holds high regard when learning how to become a gentleman. Created by the Philosopher Confucius, one of the smartest minds to have ever graced the planet, a strong emphasis on action over words is made here. Ensure you’re a man of your word, and prove you will do something before you tell the world. Actions speak far louder than words.
“The only infallible rule we know is, that the man who is always talking about being a gentleman never is one.”
This quote builds on the foundations of the previous – actions speak louder than words. Becoming a gentleman does not require vocal validation, it is lived through deeds and demeanour. Robert Smith Surtees, the English journalist, comic novelist and sports writer prioritises authenticity and humility.
“A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do, but what he should do.”
To become a gentleman, you need to prioritise self-discipline and moral responsibility – Especially in times when you face personal inclinations to the contrary. This quote was taken from Japanese Writer Haruki Murakami’s 1987 novel “Norwegian Wood”, highlighting the importance of prioritising your sense of duty and consideration for others.
“Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time.”
Acclaimed Italian dramatist, novelist, poet and Nobel Prize winner in Literature in 1934, Luigi Pirandello built on Murakami’s quote by boasting that heroism may arise from specific situations, but true gentleman are crafted through a continuous commitment to principles and values. if you’re aspiring to become a gentleman, you need to become long-term oriented towards achieving your goals.
For further reading, here’s our list of the 10 books every man should read.